Oh How the Mighty Have Fallen...

The Scene: Andrew is having lunch with some guys on Sunday afternoon. One of them notices the stamp on the back of Andrew's hand.

Friend: "Big night last night?"

Andrew: "No, I went to the zoo this morning."

Thanks for the Memories

Dear Maxima,

After 11 years in Andrew's life and 7 years in mine, it is time to say our farewells and go our separate ways.

Like me, you came to the relationship with some bagggage--you had survived two near-death accidents (one in which you pulled a General Lee and shot over a fence--airborne--and landed in a forest). But we found a way to make it work. You didn't get mad at me when Ben Erwin and I requested Double Pina Colada scent at the car wash (although you did make Andrew smell like a lush for months afterward, and when it's hot out I can still get a whiff of paradise--6 years later). You tried to keep my secret when I scraped your side, thinking I'd gotten away with it because there was already a big scrape there. It wasn't your fault that Andrew figured it out because it was, in fact, the OTHER side of the car that I had scraped. You didn't complain when we uprooted you--you've called 5 states home and have driven through 21 others. Rain (CA) or snow (UT), extreme heat (TX) or freezing cold (MA)--you did good.

I'll miss you--even though it took me about a year to realize that you were dark green and not black (you can blame your owner for that). I'll even miss your distinct smell--a mix of mildew (from your leaking/broken sunroof), pina colada, and dip spit.

Please know, my dearest Maxima, that while I'm excited that Andrew now has a car that doesn't embarrass his work colleagues, you will always hold a special place in my heart. You will always remind me of my adventures with Andrew pre-children.

Goodbye, and good luck.

16 Month Adjusted Age Developmental Checkup

Today C and D had their 16 month adjusted age developmental checkup at the Whitney Clinic here in SF. This is a program that D qualified for by about 30 grams, and I got my insurance to get C in as well. While I would rather have a child who didn't come early and didn't need to be developmentally assessed, I am extremely grateful that such programs and opportunities exist for preemies.

We get a full written report and recommendations in a few weeks, but here is the lowdown:

Neurologist: At this point the neurologist looks for two major things--the parachute reflex (he flips them upside down to see if their arms naturally reach out to stop the fall) and the pincer grasp. These are the two greatest 'brain' developments after the first year. He did more tests, but the net is they passed. He also said the 'normal' age range for walking is 9-18 months, and since they were looking at D as a 16 month old (they look at adjusted until age 3), AND she was putting on a show, walking ALL over the place, he thought she seemed fine.

Pediatrician: Similar to an 18 month check up, only the beauty is they chart their measurements based on a 16 month old. Under this scenario, C hovers close to the 50th percentile in weight/height! (Don't even ask about the head circumference). D, well, the jury's still out, because this time she was measured at almost 30 inches...an inch longer than the week before! I'm not sure what to make of it--the measurement tool at this place was much better, but at the ped's office they measured her 3 times! So who knows...either way, she is still a peanut, but at almost 30 inches and 16 months old it paints a slightly better pic. Who knows.

Otherwise, some issues relating to their lungs (maybe asthma or a respiratory disorder) and skin (they have sensitive skin/eczema).

Developmental specialist: They run through a series of tests, some repeats of last time, some new. I was w/ D, A w/ C. D struggled more than C, especially when they asked her things like "can you point to the doll's nose?" D would point to her own. I'd like to argue that she doesn't play w/ dolls, and that if they'd asked her to point to the elephant or giraffe's nose she would have done better, but who knows. They scored the following:

C D

• Cognitive learning 22 months 19 months
• Receptive language 24 19
• Expressive language 19 19
• Fine motor skills 21 15
• Gross motor skills 15 14

What this all means is that they are scoring behind their adjusted age in gross (and fine for D) motor skills and ahead of their actual age in the more mental categories. This doesn't mean that C is smarter than D, it just means D is a little younger for her age, which we already sensed and figure it is all part of the preemie issue (identical twins also tend to have extreme parity in IQs). The only thing that surprised us was how well C did on fine motor, given that D always has much more patience for it. I think it was C's way of saying "just because I CAN do it doesn't mean I WANT to do it." Gross motor skills is also an interesting measure...ie. one thing that kept C's score low is that she can't walk down a flight of stairs on her own. But that is probably because we don't LET her.

All in all, we were very happy to hear that they show no developmental delays mentally and should eventually catch up physically.

And lest anyone think they are totally inept physically, I'm submitting these videos as evidence :-)

Share and Share Alike

C & D like to "share"....EVERYTHING. They "share" --or switch--cell phones, stuffed animals, sippy cups, toys. They switch toothbrushes mid-brushing. They play musical chairs and switch seats again and again. If I turn my back on them at dinner, I'll turn around to find that they have switched dinner plates. Their newest game is to switch cribs. They wake up in the morning or from a nap, yell 'share,' and I put them in each other's cribs and throw stuffed animals or books in them.

They have no concept of "mine"--just "share." They don't get that other kids don't easily share or trade. They have very little sense of personal space, and so they get up really close to other kids and ask "share?"...expecting that the kid will just give up the object of their affections. This past weekend we were at the park and this little girl had been on one of the play structures--a wheel that spins around--for awhile, and she was sprawled out so noone else could fit on it. C/D walked up to the wheel and stared at it for awhile. The girl's father saw and said "Can you let the little girls get on too?" She yelled "No!" D and C looked at the girl, and in sweet, pleading little voices asked "Shaaaayre??" The guy looked at them, looked at his daughter, and a split second later he'd yanked his daughter off the wheel. I almost felt sorry for him.

NYC

This past weekend was the first time I'd spent more than a night away from C and D since they escaped the NICU. We went to NYC for Marsha's (Andrew's mother) 60th birthday celebration. I was a little stressed about flying with Andrew, but luckily United gave me a 5 hour delay to think about how much safer we are in a plane than in a car.

Aside from a painful delay (although it would have been much more painful w/ 2 toddlers), we had a wonderful trip. We were treated to some amazing dinners (one in which we were given a special tour of the kitchen after they almost gave Andrew's brother Bradley--who is deathly allergic to pinenuts--pinenuts. Sort of a "we're sorry we almost killed your son" tour), we went to the Met, we saw some friends, and the girls got spa treastments while the boys played golf. Thanks to Sam and Marsha (who asked for it as part of her birthday celebration!), Ali and I were also treated to a shoe shopping experience at Bergdorf's that I am getting goosebumps just writing about...it was the closest I will ever come to living "Sex and the City." It was like being a kid in the most incredible candy score. A little of the old Molly got to come out and play. It was thrilling.

As much as I hated to leave the monkeys, it is nice to take a bit of a break from your life, to remember what it feels like to be lazy, to not have to look at the clock all day to know if it is time for food, a nap, music class, etc. And it was nice to get some Andrew/Molly time.


The irony of the weekend was that I had worried so much about leaving C/D, but once I did I was able to relax, knowing that they were in great hands with my mother and Chris. Turns out my fears were justified. The first night we were away there was an earthquake...with its epicenter 2 blocks from my Mom's house. They woke up to shaking and glass shattering all over the house. The glass ceiling lamp that had been in my room since the house was built in 1932 had fallen and shattered...within inches of D's head. I won't go into any more details, but let's just say that it was extremely traumatic for my mother, and I appreciate that since D was completely fine she didn't tell me about it until after I had returned. I probably would have gotten on the first flight home.


Here's a pic of us in NYC...the only tragedy is that you can't see our shoes!!

18 Months Old!

Charlotte and Dylan are 18 months old! On their 18 month "birthday" I was such a nice mother I took them to their 18 month check up. I always greet these appointments with apprehension because I am waiting to be told that my children aren't even on the charts. Unfortunately, I wasn't disappointed. Other than their noggins, which are still huge (75th and 50th percentiles) relative to the rest of them, they are still officially pixies. C is 22lb,80z (25th percentile) and 30.5 inches (10-25th percentile). D is 20lb,90z (5-10th percentile) and 28.75 inches (not even on the charts).

The really depressing thing is that D actually SHRUNK--she was measured at 29inches last time. She was probably measured incorrectly last time, but it really bummed me out. I know, I know, I'm not a giant (I feel like the cyclops who says "I don't understand why she only has one eye!?"), but I was hoping they'd get some of Andrew's genes, and at this point I'm just hoping they are as tall as me. I also don't want little miss D to be identified as the 'short twin'--that would suck.

Anyway, other than their measurements, and the fact that the minute D saw the doctor's office she started screaming bloody murder (while her sister looked around smiling like "Oh, this place looks nice. Look at all the people paying attention to me. Wait, why is Dy'yan crying. She must know something I don't. Maybe I should start crying too..."), it wasn't a bad appointment. We are going to hold off on physical therapy until we have our developmental checkup next week.

And the day wasn't all about getting shots... we did made cupcakes (it won't take much for them to be better cooks than me...I give it a few months and an Easy Bake Oven) and played outside in our 'sandbox.'

We're Here Because of the Music

I live with two Penny Lanes. They are Groupies....for DADDY.

Every time I walk into their room in the morning, they look around me and say "Dada" as in "Move so I can see if the Big Guy is here." If they make 'phone calls' they always call "Dada" and if I ask them who they think we are going to see today they always reply "Dada." "Dada" is actually said "Da daaaaaa" in a whispery, excited, amazed, wondrous, and almost secretive tone, like if they say it outloud it might not come true. Conversely, they say "mama" with complete certainty and no intonation whatsoever.

It is like the difference between me being asked who is at the front door and answering "the UPS man" vs. "George Clooney." The UPS man is reliable, omnipresent, and totally boring. George Clooney is...we'll he's freakin' GEORGE CLOONEY!

So I'm sorry ladies--your Golden God is currently out of town again, but I'm sure he'll swing by here for a pitstop between tour dates.

The Blogosphere

I don't think people who hire me understand that if they want my brain to spend time on something to do with their work, they need to PAY me to do so.

I can't tell you how many times I've been speaking to someone and they've said something along the lines of "Well you know how all the blogs have been talking about X...."

And I'm thinking, "Really? That's funny, because the Dholakia and Price blogs didn't say anything about it. Even the Royston blog missed it. I also checked the Sports Guy and babychic101. Nothing. So I'm sorry, but I'm not sure I have any idea what you are talking about..."

I mean do you really think I have extra time to read Technorati?? What with all these blog posts I have to squeeze into my already busy schedule!?!

Careful what you wish for...

When I found out that I was having twin girls I'll admit that I was a little freaked out. All of the identical twin girls I knew growing up were A) weird and B) super girly. Nowadays with all the Princess cr*p out there I fear 'girliness' even more.

Thus, from the beginning I have tried not to push D/C into all the "girliness" that is out there. I want them to feel that they can do ANYTHING they want. But lately I'm wondering if maybe I'm going a bit too far. I mean I know that at this age they have very limited gender associations anyway, but there are certain differences that seem to come up even now. For example, most of the little girls I see love to ride the swings (mine hate it) and read books (mine can't sit still long enough), and they don't wrestle or climb on top of each other...



The other day I took the girls to storybook time at a nearby store. All the little kids there were sitting on chairs or in laps happily listening (even the boys were calm). C/D looked around the store at the ride on toys, looked at the storyteller, and then looked at me in disgust, as if to say "you really expect us to sit and listen to THIS (granted, it was a lame book and she wasn't the most animated reader ever) when we could be climbing these trikes??!!" They then proceeded to take turns sitting on anything they could possibly 'ride' in the store. It was kind of embarrassing to have the other parents looking at me like "wow, what's up with your kids?"

So anyway, if years from now I'm blogging about how D and C love the WNBA, can't get enough of Uncle Sameer's old Indigo Girls cds, and are begging us to buy them Subaru Outbacks, you'll know that I more than succeeded in not making them 'too girly...' (not that there's anything wrong with that)

How the Other Half Lives

Yesterday Andrew and I went our separate ways for the afternoon and we each took a munchkin. Andrew took D to the All Star pregame festivities, and I took C to visit Serena and her new baby girl and to Whole Foods. We got to see how the other half lives, and by other half I mean people who have one kid at a time. It was, in a word, amazing.

With one kid, they play quietly with one thing for up to 15 minutes because no one else is coming up to them grabbing said activity away! You can hold one kid while you do something else! With one kid you don't have to drag the stroller out EVERY TIME you go ANYWHERE. You can actually go to the grocery store w/o using babysitter time, and it is kinda fun! You can just hop out of the car and take the kid with you! You get to give all of your attention to ONE kid! You can hold conversations with other people for several minutes at a time! I had no idea what I was missing.

Before you kick me off my "Twins Mom" Soapbox, let me say that the experience made me wonder if having twins makes me a worse mother. I get a lot less bonding time with each kid. I spend most of my time trying to figure out how to occupy them so I can get something incredibly basic done. I wouldn't trade having twins for anything in the world, but sometimes when I wonder what it is I'm doing wrong that makes it difficult for me to get anything accomplished in a given day, it makes me feel a little better to know how the "other half" lives.

Then again, what's the fun of getting anything accomplished when you can play "fire truck"....

Celebrating Sixty

This year both of our mothers turn 60. Sam and Marsha (Andrew's parents) and Helen (Andrew's amazing grandmother) came all the way out from Houston and Nashville so that we could do a joint celebration. We had a great weekend that included a wonderful dinner celebration, and of course in true San Francisco fashion it was FREEZING in the middle of July. Here's a quick pic from the weekend... (if my children go bald someday we'll know they unfortunately got it from my side of the family).

Toys

This week we visited a friend of mine's house for her daughter's second birthday. She is a self professed "non-toy family" --they have very few toys in their house by choice. Unfortunately, they do happen to have a beautiful waterfall that fills two troughs (like a manmade stream) in their front yard. So once C got tired of throwing the football into the basketball hoop on the lawn (the only kid who wanted to 'shoot hoops' at the party--her father would have been so proud) she headed straight for the fountain.

Now I don't want my kids to go wreak havoc on other people's things, but as the only person there without a spouse I was struggling to figure out what to do with the monkeys! In case you couldn't tell, we definitely err on the side of being "pro toys" in our household. In the absence of toys, they assume that most places are some form of park or children's activity center. So as much as I tried to keep them away from the water, the minute I'd turn my back to deal with one, the other had made her way back to the fountain. Thus I left the party early with two SOAKING wet girls and spent the entire drive home questioning my parenting skills as we headed back to a house full of toys.

Of course, why do you need toys when you can look around the house and find the coolest things...like toilet paper holders (D and C)...cell phones (D)...and mom's wallet! (D)

Vroom Vroom

C and D are OBSESSED with all ride on toys. They bee line for them at the park, stores, on the street--anywhere. About a week ago they accosted a little kid at the park who had a Step 2 plastic push car. If they could have, they would have boosted the thing.

They also live in a place where we walk EVERYWHERE. I decided to get them their own cars because I figured we could throw them into the stroller/wagon rotation. C and D went CRAZY over the cars. I pulled the cars out of the boxes and even though they were nothing more than frames with trunks they played with them for an hour....which is an eternity by their standards.

That evening I got Andrew to put them together, and the next morning was like Christmas for them. They put "snacks" and balls in the trunks, they honked their horns, and put their "wawa" in and out of the cup holders. (For $17 more I could get a car that also had a cup holder and a battery-powered horn. TOTALLY worth it). And every once in a while one of them would say "Shayya" and they would switch cars--even though they were exactly the same.



We took them out and they waved at everyone, honked their horns, and grinned all down the street. Occasionally they even reached out and held each others hands. It was awesome.

Every morning since getting the cars they have walked up to the front door, banged on it and yelled "Vroom Vroom!" The biggest problem now is that they mutiny when I try to put them in anything else but the cars. I'm not going to lie, I want to look at them and say "I give you these cars, and THIS is how you thank me?!" Ahhh, the joys of motherhood.

Becoming Friends

Charlotte and Dylan are becoming friends. I can't put into words how amazing it is to watch. They get excited to see each other in the morning. If we separate them even for a very short period of time, they are thrilled to be reunited. They are starting to actually play with each other instead of just around each other. They get excited to bring things to the other person (be it water, shoes, or a "nack" (snack)). They play peek a boo with each other on either side of the ottoman. They even hug each other on occasion (with mixed results as you can see).



Don't get me wrong, they still fight and they still bite each other. C is more like her father...she is almost always happy and smiling, but she hates to be alone and is always interested in whatever toy D is playing with. D is more like her mother...she is fiercely attached to the people she loves, but she is less open to new people and she often wants to be left alone to play by herself. Needless to say the differences in temperment lead to some altercations.

From the minute I found out I was having identical twin girls my biggest fear has been that they would not get along. While I know that there are likely to be ups and downs in their relationship, I'm not going to lie when I say that my heart sings with hope every time I see them laugh with each other.