We are now three weeks into school and here is what I can report:
PRESCHOOL:
At our preschool, they don't want the first school experience to be traumatic, so they ease the kids into separation from their parents.
The first day all the parents stay, and the parents socialize while the kids play. School is only 1.5 hours. The second day most of the parents manage to get out at some point. By the third day almost all of the parents are able to leave with ease. As much as it was a bit of a hassle, I think it is a much better way to introduce the kids to school. At C and D's old school they made us leave our screaming crying kids immediately and so a handful of adults were left to soothe crying kids. For 97% of the kids in Lila's class, the transition to school was calm and pleasant.
Lila, surprisingly, was the 3%. I thought Lila would tell me not to let the door hit me on the way out. She has played at the school a lot and does not seem afraid of things. But Lila loves her parents and loves her sisters, and she didn't see much of a need to play with anyone else. And while she seems developmentally ready for preschool, I am realizing that she is socially young.
I was the last parent there. Finally even the teachers said "You gotta just leave." I had a feeling that once I left she would be fine 2 minutes later, and that was exactly the case. But it was hard to have to pry her off me and leave. On the upside, I had been there so long that I had less time to completely break down over the fact that I had just sent what might be my last child off to school.
The first few weeks for Lila were clearly a big change for her. We always talk about how mommys always come back. In bed at night, as I'd leave her room, she'd ask "Mommy, will you promise to always come back?"
When I would ask her how school was she would say, "It takes a long time for you to come back Mommy," or "Sometimes school is fun, but sometimes school is scary."
She did have another first though...her first ballet class. And she LOVES it. At this stage ballet is really more about running around with ribbons and scarves and dancing to Dora. From the minute I drop the girls off at the bus on Mondays Lila asks "Can we go ballet now?" which goes on until ballet actually starts until 10. She is in heaven.
She also made her first friend. Cate lives right across the street from us and we now carpool in the morning. Cate is younger than Lila but seems older. And she is one of the really, really sweet girls--the kind of girl you know you'll want your kid to be friends with throughout preschool. And her mother and I have started running together at 6 in the morning, and I feel like I have made a new friend too.
And, at 2 years and 8 months, she got her first haircut.
KINDERGARTEN
Kindergarten is a lot of work and a big change. They are at school more than twice as long as they used to be, and they are exhausted. And they miss me and they miss being at home.
- D in particular really miss preschool. The other day we were listening to It's a Small World, a song they sang at graduation, and D sighed and said, "I don't know what I miss more, Lone MOuntain, or Disneyland."
- D is definitely a quirky old soul, and she seems to very much get that she just made this big transition in her life. And she is wise enough to recognize that a beautiful, sweet, amazing door just closed in her life. And unlike most kids, who can only see the new door in front of them and all that being older brings, D gets that she just left something wonderful (early childhood, her preschool, behind). The other day she looked sad all of a sudden, and I asked, "D, what's wrong," and she answered morosely, "Sometimes I just forget that I have to grow up to be an adult someday. Yuck."
- They miss me. I am thrilled, I admit. They miss me, and when they see me I can tell that they just let it all go, which means I get the bear the brunt of their fatigue. But I am glad I can be there every day at 2:30 to pick them up from school.
- They miss each other. They are happy to be in separate classes I think, and they still see each other a lot at school. And we love the separation because they get along even better now when they are home (unlike at the end of summer when we were always together all the time and everyone was getting on each others' nerves). But they miss each other. One night D called me in after bedtime because she was yelling "Mom, I miss my sister!! I miss my sister so much!" Even though her sister was in the bed next to her. And the other night we heard them talking after bed, which was unusual, so we went in and found them in one bed, snuggling, giggling, laughing, with flashlights. And they told us that the kids sometimes tease them when they hug each other as their kindergarten lines pass each other en route to something.
Despite all these things, they still generally seem to love school.
- C is 'ogsessed' with her teachers. She thinks they shoot the moon. I think Andrew feels a bit threatened actually--the girl who thinks he can do no wrong suddenly has two other men in her life. C acts like her teachers are her friends and she refers to them often. The other day I forgot something and she said, "That's ok, Doug did that the other day too." I think she also fancies herself a helper. On the third day of school she told me "Herschel (he is at our bus stop) didn't know which room he was in, so I brought him to Doug and I said "this little boy doesn't know where to go."
- C is getting herself in a bit of trouble. She sometimes talks when she shouldn't and she sometimes has trouble listening. She told me after day two that ""Doug told me that it was his turn to talk now." We also got a video of a puppet show that was shown to the entire class, and in the video she was the only one called out for talking when she shouldn't. She was also the first to raise her hand and ask a question, only she didn't ask a question, she just shared something about herself. On the upside, she seems to accept her consequences, and part of me likes that she is not a total rules follower. I wish I could sit in her class because somehow her teachers manage to set rules and give consequences, AND keep the kids happy and positive about themselves.
- C has also endeared herself to at least one mother in the class by asking her when she showed up to volunteer, "Are you the mom or the grandmother?" The mother really appreciated that one.
- D is really getting into "Energy Time." Energy time is a blend of aikido, music and movement, and it is meant to foster self-awarenesss, social skills, and conflict resolution. Her teachers teaches it to all grades. The first day she told me it was "Boring and it made my legs hurt," but now she is really into it. She says it teaches "Calmness" and she is all about getting centered and helping us to center ourselves. I was dubious at first, but now I am believer and I love the self management skills it seems to be teaching her. The only thing I don't like is when she uses it against me, like after the 6th time of me asking her to do something and I raise my voice and she says "Mom, you're not centered." Or when I said, "D, I have asked you calmly to do that 4 times and you haven't. I am about to get uncentered. Why don't you just do what I ask?" And she answers, "Because I am testing your centering."
- Generally, they are happy. C told me the other day that she wished school were every day.
- They are busy, physically and mentally. The other night I asked C to 'best guess' spell something and she looks at me sternly and says, "Mom, my brain is done for the day."
- Out have gone dresses and in have gone jeans and tshirts. They are very active at the school and the kids dress accordingly. Their playground is on a hill and has a creek, so they kids get dirty. If you ask C what she wants to wear to school, she says "Whatever helps me run the fastest." She bought a pair of pink running shorts at Target and I have trouble getting her out of them.
- We went camping with the class. One of the fathers organizes a camping trip for each class that his kids are in (our class has the youngest of his 4). This was our first, real camping.
- The night before the girls were a little worried. D was very worried about bears.
- Me: "Who do you think would win, Daddy or the big hungry bear?"
- C (with stars in her eyes) "DADDY."
- D (resigned) "THE BIG HUNGRY BEAR."
- D:"Why do they let 5 year olds camp in the forest?"
- Me: Where do you think they should let them camp?"
- "AT A GOLF COURSE!"
- P.S. They had a great time (Lila and I left after dinner, but here she is in the bottom right corner fascinated by the bonfire).
And finally, I think D spoke for every man in America when she opined:
"I like school, except I no longer get to take long and relaxing poops in the morning."
