Potty Training 101

Molly: I hope it's ok, I bought two potties for them because I had visions of them pushing each other off the seat.

Andrew: How do they work?

Molly: What do you mean?

Andrew: I mean, how do they get cleaned out?

Molly: Uh, we do it.

Andrew (looking horrified): You mean like we throw it out ourselves?
Molly: Uh, yes.

Andrew: Where do we put it?

Molly: The toilet.

Andrew (looking squeamish): Oh.

Here he is, the father of two daughters (at the beach and wearing the butterfly towels they insist on bringing him when he gets out of the shower):

It's an Acquired Taste

This morning (Saturday), after we got back from a really nice morning at the Ferry Building Farmer's Market, Andrew had a work call and I was hanging out w/ D/C. At one point C comes in with two small teacups full of water and hands one to me with the sweetest smile ever saying 'Mommy I made you some tea!" So of course I drank it, smiled and said "Mmmm, thank you, yummy."

Then I wondered, where did the water come from? I figured she'd crawled up the step stool and turned on the faucet in the bathroom. I walked into the bathroom, figuring I'd find water running and a pool of water on the floor, but the stool was nowhere near the sink.

Me: "Charlotte sweetheart, where did you get this yummy tea?"
C: (Pointing to the lid up--damn me--toilet) "Right there Mommy."


On a less germ-filled note, here are C, D, and Will P. holding butterflies at the Conservatory of Flowers--we gently 'picked' the butterflies off branches from trees all around the exhibit.

Tough Week

The past week has been tough for me, both professionally and personally. I hate letting people down, and I let both a client and a friend down. It has been a long time since I felt like I really screwed up professionally, and that feeling sucks. I keep telling myself that we grow and learn the most when things go wrong and we are challenged, but it still sucks.

Because I don't think I can/should explain the minor disasters I've had this week in any given arena, I'll tell a little about C/D. Here they are in the crowns that they made with Kallie. Kallie, our first p/t nanny and still the gold standard, has been coming recently for a few hours just because she wants to see C/D before she moves down to San Diego in June. They adore her, and I come home and it is like a preschool has been created in my living room. It is awesome. Of course, in keeping w/ the disastrous week, while K was there to see them they decided to avail themselves of ALL clothing and diapers and then, yes, 'go potty' in their beds. Poor thing had to deal with cleaning everything up. I felt so awful. And she STILL managed to come up with a great art project.

And in case you were wondering, I've lost all control over what they choose to wear. And unfortunately, D has pretty bad taste. Her fav pants are brown jeans and that black butterfly shirt is her all-time favorite shirt.

Purging

I'm trying to rid us of plastic and (maybe) wheat. Why, you ask?

PLASTIC: The articles are everywhere. I stopped microwaving anything plastic awhile ago (well, just AFTER I thought I was being a good mother by microwaving/steamcleaning C/Ds bottles EVERY NIGHT when they were babies--STUPID STUPID STUPID!!!) And I got rid of some of our plastic toys and try to shop at some of the crunchier toy stores. But C/D still eat and drink out of a lot of plastic. And all of it is starting to make me really nervous.

So I'm starting a full purge. I threw out all of the plastic sippy cups we had unless I was sure they were BPA free. I have tried to get more metal sippy cups (sold out everywhere online) and I replaced all their plates/bowls with melamine ones.

I now know more than I ever need to about sippy cup brands. In the meantime, if you have any suggestions for products--pray tell.

(Of course, a friend of mine said "Well I'm more worried about the lead in glass.") UGH!!

WHEAT: Well, uh, I'm not completely sure. D seems to have very sensitive skin. I have read a lot about how wheat can aggravate eczema, and I am also learning that certain foods can even aggravate asthma. So in the short term I'm trying to minimize the wheat they eat. This, btw, is not easy, not to mention that it doesn't completely fit with our "shop at Whole Foods less and reduce our monthly grocery bill" plan.

Because I really have know idea what I'm talking about, I have her signed up to see a nutritionist/allergist in a few weeks...the woman is definitely on the crunchy side (I surmised this when she asked me if I was still breast feeding and I reminded her that "They are over two years old!" and she didn't say "Oh that's right" but instead said "Alright then.") but I think that is a good thing. I think we need to start thinking holistically about D's health and consider how all of the inputs she's receiving (food, environment, etc.) can affect her. That sounds way more serious than her situation is, but you get the idea.

Andrew will tell you that I'm doing this just to annoy him, to have an excuse to shop at Whole Foods, and to make him eat tortillas that taste like cardboard. He has a point.

(Here are C/D looking like rag-a-muffins as they help me make smoothies...)

Hazloche!

We got into a preschool!

The good news is that it is a preschool we like, the bad news is that it is in the afternoon program. I was very worried at first because C/D are pretty good nappers and go down right about the time school would start. So at first I thought we'd have to decline. I talked to a bunch of people, from parents of twins in the program to the sleep/behavioral consultant I've worked with in the past. AND I thought about how many hours I'd put into this the first time around and decided that I would be insane to turn it down. So we're going to give it a shot.

(And btw, the joke is that even though I put in ALL the hours, I think we got in because of Andrew's integrity (long story). So what is the lesson here...that it isn't how much work you put into something but who you marry??)

So C/D are headed to a preschool guided by Jewish values and culture. I think it will be a great opportunity for them to be introduced to universal religious principles and to experience religious diversity. (Not to mention that this cements Andrew's status as a "Jew Groupie"). If the girls have any questions that my Catholic *ss can't answer, they can hopefully ask one of their many wonderful Jewish aunts and uncles for answers.

Back on the Farm...

This weekend we visited Slide Ranch again. Not as many activities as there were last time (no face painting, much to the girls' disappointment) and no berries/apples to pick, but C/D were less afraid of the animals and we had the pleasure of going there with the fabulous Mishras. Lots of fun had by all--here are some pics.

I have no idea where she learned that...

Tonight Andrew came home right as I was putting D/C down. They insist on getting eskimo kisses from A, and they insist on him wearing a hat when he kisses them. Tonight A put on his Duke hat and walked up to D in the crib. She looks at him, looks at his hat and says "Duke is a safety school" in her lyrical little voice.

I almost pee'd in my pants.

And this is for Gram who is in Vegas celebrating her birthday!



(and yes, they are eating s'mores for the first time and in HEAVEN. i figure that if their grandmothers are indications of their genes, they aren't at risk of obesity...and watching them eat something like s'mores for the first time is sheer heaven for me.)

PS. Even better, next morning we met A for lunch. Afterwards we threw pennies into the fountain nearby. I asked C what she wished for---"I wished for Stanford." She has no idea what she is saying, but who cares! There are lots of drawbacks to being the one home more, but there are clearly some advantages.

Bossy Betty

C has become a bit of a Bossy Betty lately. Some recent quotes:

"Daddy you need to use two hands when you are driving." (no idea when she took driver's ed)

"Daddy, don't touch Mommy." (When A put his hand on my knee). She's so chaste.

"No Dylan No Dylan No Dylan!!!!!!!!!!!" (We often here this at bedtime, sometimes she gets so hysterical we have to run in and stop it)

"Mommy get your own." (When I was using her musical instrument in music class).

"Dylan take my diaper off." (she prefers to have her sister dress her)

"Daddy wear your Raider hat." (Their nightly demand that he wear not only a hat while he gives them eskimo kisses goodnight, but that he wear the specific hat of their liking).

Mommy, don't forget me! (If I pick D up first or leave a room that she is in).

"Wendie don't take all of the carrots. There need to be plenty for me!"

And my favorite.... "Mommy, don't pee in the shower!" (While watching me shower--yes, they usually insist I keep the shower door open. But how did she know???!! (j/k!))

What saves this from being a real problem in terms of C/D's relationship is that the balance of power still lies with Dylan in many ways because C is obsessed w/ all things D. The ONLY person that C is generally polite to without being asked to be is Dylan. "Dylan may I please have >>>>? Dylan please...." For example, C only wants to wear something if D is wearing the equivalent, so dressing C often involves a lot of her saying to D "Dylan will you please wear sparkle #2 shirt? Please?" Definitely helps offset Betty's bossiness.

Do I annoy you like you annoy me?

And by you, I mean some dog owners.

I hesitate to write this because there are many dog lovers who are near and dear to my heart, including my brother and sister-in-law (who are giving C/D a baby boy cousin in the fall---yippee for their first nearby cousin!!!) I hope they know I don't include them in this rant. C/D are scared of Henry and Chewy, but they love them a lot (from a distance). But after what happened today I have to explain why it appears I hate dogs.

I don't hate dogs. I like them. I don't adore them like some people, but I like them and would love to have one someday when my kids are older. But generally I'm indifferent about them. It's (some of) their owners who drive me nuts. I realized I don't understand your obsession with your dog, much like you probably don't understand my love for my kids. I'm ok with that...but I also generally think that I try to keep my kids from getting in your way. Many dog owners, however, don't.

Case in point. Today we were at the beach. Many people let their dogs run rampant on the beaches. Sometimes they shake their wet hair and it sprays us (sort of annoying). Sometimes they run over C and D (annoying). Today a dog ran up and peed in our beach bucket AS WE WERE USING IT TO BUILD SANDCASTLES AND AS THE OWNER WAS STANDING RIGHT THERE (REALLY annoying). And what does the owner do? She sorta rolls her eyes, picks up the bucket and haphazardly washes it out in the water and hands it back to me with no more than a half-assed sorry with almost a little laugh, as if to say "What can you do?" Kind of like one might do with a kid. Only it isn't a kid, it is a dog, and if my kid peed on something of yours I'd be mortified and fall all over myself apologizing. I walked up to Andrew and he knew exactly what I was thinking..."and you wonder why I am so down on (some) dogs' (owners)?"

Tough as Nails

My little D is tough as nails. No more scary stuff, just a slowly healing skin rash. She never even really had a fever after that one morning. And C just had a fever for one day (although she milked it for all it was worth). Thanks for all the thoughts and well wishes. Sometimes too it is good to hear that so many people "know someone" whose kid had a seizure and is just fine now.

Very Frightening

Today, in the middle of her physical therapy session, D had a febrile seizure. She didn't pass out and her eyes didn't roll back, but while playing she suddenly stopped, arched her back and fell backwards. She tried to grab onto something for support but couldn't. She fell back into Susan's (physical therapist) arms and lay there completely rigid and shaking uncontrollably for about 10 seconds. I cannot explain how scared I was/am. She didn't pass out but started screaming and saying "scared" over and over. I held her while the PT went to get help/advice. She was shaking and her heart was racing. But after a few minutes she calmed down and said "I not scared anymore" and went on playing.

I realized that the "bug bites" I noticed in the morning had gotten way worse. I took her into the doctor. The short answer is she has either hand, foot, and mouth disease, and/or some version of the coxsackie virus. Even though she wasn't acting sick she likely spiked a fever and that led to the 'seizure.' C is now running a fever and feeling very bad too, so I am assuming that she is just getting it in a different way.

I am hopeful everything will be alright. But all day I have been too scared to concentrate on anything. It is nights like this that I really hate being alone.

Withdrawal

The Dodson girls are experiencing withdrawal. We miss Andrew, Hawaii, and (well I miss) eating out. Let's break it down.

Andrew left early Monday for the entire week. And he's gone all of next week, and all of the week after that. Apparently his other family is starting to get mad at him for not visiting enough. So he's basically out of town all week between now and mid-May. Sweet. Meanwhile C/D discovered what I figured they would when they got Daddy 24/7 for a week--he's much cooler than Mommy. Other than bedtime they have been all Daddy all the time. D was so upset yesterday morning when he wasn't there to get her up that she wouldn't get out of the crib until we called Daddy on the cell phone to say good morning. And last night they insisted we do "eskimo kisses" over the phone w/ A because God help them they were getting their nightly eskimo kisses from the Big Hungry Daddy. They are back to boring old mom, and I don't blame them for being a little t'd off. (The funniest part is that when I ask them where Daddy is they say "He's bowling," probably because we went to a bowling outing w/ Andrew's office a few weeks ago).

We're all having Hawaii withdrawal. C/D both keep saying "Go back to Hawaii." No sh*t. Great call. If only!

Finally, we examined our finances, and we're tightening the belt. Ugh. Which, among other things, means a lot less eating out. And I don't mean nice meals. I mean that all of the last minute pizzas we ordered because we're too tired to deal are coming back to bite our bank account in the ass. Pretty easy thing to cut down on so it is one of our focus areas. But when you are home by yourself all week it can get really old eating in every night. I know, I know, cry me a river.

At least C/D are trying to help. Last night as I was making dinner I thought I heard the sound of water splashing in a pan that C was playing with in their kitchen. Figured I was imagining it. Nope. Somehow they had managed to rip open a box of pasta from "mama's kitchen", put it in one of their pots, go into the bathroom and fill up the pot w/ water, and bring it back to their stove to cook. If I hadn't been annoyed with how much water they'd spilled everywhere I would have been impressed with their ingenuity. Now if only I could really get them to make their own meals every night.

(And another cute story: yesterday we had "Elmo soup" as a treat. At one point C realized she'd eaten all of her "Elmo noodles." She was a little sad. D looked at her, looked down at her soup, threw her hands into her soup, dug out 3 "Elmos" and put them in C's bowl for her. I almost cried.)

4 Tickets to Paradise

Amazing, awesome, fantastic. Even better than I thought it would be. If you ask me about our trip to Hawaii that's what I'll say.

The very generous "Dodson train" went to Hawaii this past week, and we happily jumped on board. I knew it was going to be fun, but I thought it would be a lot more work and a lot less relaxing than it turned out to be (because vacations are great, but vacations with kids are not always rejuvinating). And then half of the Dodson contingent (Andrew's brother and family) cancelled and we were very bummed. But right about the time I was standing at the airport w/ C/D and a whole lot of bags trying to figure out how to get to Andrew and the rental car and a man came up to me from the hotel saying "Mrs. Dodson? I'm here to help you with your luggage" (was he looking for a herky jerky lady with twins?) I knew we were all headed for a great week.

And great week we had. What surprised me more than the fact that I actually found it all very relaxing was how much freakin' fun the girls had. They were in HEAVEN from the get go. They got on Hawaii time really quickly (they do much better west than east). They had the world's coolest kids pool at our hotel complete with sand bottom, water spouts, and lots of toys and C/D basically wanted to go there morning and night. They would exhaust themselves so much that they would take these beautifully long naps that gave the rest of us a break. They also liked the little playground, feeding the fish, and doing art projects at the kids club. AND they got to dance with the "hula girl" which they loved. Most of all, they loved getting so much time with their Gram and Sam and getting "Daddy all day, all week." They were seriously in heaven.

And mom and dad had fun too. Andrew golfed a few times and Sam and Marsha gave us lots of time to run off and hit the gym and we even got a few afternoons to sit by ourselves at the "adult pool" and read, which was blissful.

About the only thing I found different than what DR told me about staying there was that she said you saw the same parents again and again on the trip because families with little kids all did the same thing. But all I saw were the same nannies over and over again. I was amazed at the number of people who seem to go on "family vacations" and hand their kids over to their nannies 80% of the time. Oh, and a few random sightings including Jim Belushi (think I should have asked him about carorder???)

Oh, and I felt like a total mom because I spent so much time packing for c/d that I basically forgot to pack things for myself. Luckily I'm the one taking most of the pics because if you could see me you could see how "unholiday" I look (Except for when I'm in my new "golf shirt"--thank you Marsha!) I'm seriously starting to age myself.

A few things to remember on the trip:

--Every time c/d woke up from sleeping they'd look right past us and say "Gram and Sam?"
--D would often give a little grin and announce "I just passed gas in the pool" or "I just passed gas in the boat." If passing gas had anything to do w/ potty training we'd be golden.
--I was wearing a hotel robe and C came up to me and said "Mommy you look so cute in that dress."
--At one point C traded something with D and she said "Because I love you Dylan."
--C wanted to be wherever D was...if D went into the big pool, C would follow immediately.
--We'd walk by the pool w/ fish in it each morning on the way to breakfast and they'd start yelling "Fish are you awake??" (And at 6:30 am I'm sure the neighbors loved it).
--They loved "watering" the plants around the pool...
--They used the foot of the beds as launching pads to propel themselves into the cribs...they'd literally flip in and land on their backs and Andrew and I were forced to reprimand them while I know we were both thinking "Holy sh*t that was awesome."
--Watching C and D learn to "hula" with the help of Gram, Sam, and the "hula girl."

There was only one glitch in the whole trip and that was on the return. Our flight home was delayed. Then they told us we were flying to Honolulu for a new plane (instead of direct to SF) then we had to wait 3 hours at the airport before hopping on another plane. So the return home turned into a 10+ hour adventure that didn't get us home until 2am. C and D hardly slept but they didn't go completely nutzo either. (They did spend most of the flight saying "Go back to the vacation home.") Definitely could have been worse. (Yes, I'm secretly hoping this is an indication I gave birth to future world travelers, but it could just be dumb luck and our travel hell experience will come. Whatever the reason, we'll take it).

C/D are definitely exhausted today, but they keep saying "Go back to Hawaii." I couldn't agree with them more!!! Thank you thank you Dodson train!!

Here are A LOT of pics, sorry I had trouble editing. Videos to come...