And a Twin Shall Lead Them...

This past Friday we had 8 sets of twins (4 sets of identical girls!!) at our house for a twins playgroup. It was like a scene from the book "Barnyard Dance"---we had pigs, dalmations, cows, a cowboy, a cowgirl...it was mayhem. The Dodson girls actually had a last minute outfit change because it was @ 75 degrees out and their grandmother decided that it was way too hot for them to be in their original planned costumes. So we had two little ladies in tutus.

The party was in our backyard (a pretty little yard that makes me think of the little Italian family that grew up here when the Marina was full of Italian immigrants) which will, very sadly, soon by cemented over so the new owner's son can have a basketball court. Charlotte was so excited when it started that she could hardly contain her excitement. Unfortunately, when she gets that excited she sometimes starts to cry. So Charlotte got so excited to see all these kids, with her toys, OUTSIDE, that she started to cry. Charlotte crying made Dylan cry, so for awhile it was an "It's my party and i'll cry if i want to" playgroup. Luckily there were lots of twins parents and a grandmother around to hold them, and even Daddy was able to get off work early and make part of it.

Hearts Murmurs

The girls had their nine month check up today. Charlotte is 17lb, 6oz and Dylan is 15lb, 6oz, and they are both 26.5 inches long. They are still really short and small w/ big noggins (relative to others of their actual age). We are going to keep an eye on Dylan's weight (because she is in the 5th percentile for her age). We also confirmed that both Dylan and Charlotte have heart murmurs. The pediatrician is pretty confident that Charlotte's is an "innocent" heart murmur (benign). She cannot tell about Dylan. She thinks that if it were something really bad they would have definitely picked it up during the ecocardiograms she had (one fetal and at least one after she was born because of the single umbilical artery). "Worst case" as she described it would be a hole in the heart between the chambers, and this is something that could be repaired with surgery. It could also mean that she doesn't need surgery but would need to take antiobiotics when having dental work.

The cardiologist that the pediatrician referred me to is booked until Jan 3rd, but the nurse is going to get the files on the girls and show the doctors so that if they think we need to come in earlier we can figure something out. I would certainly prefer to go in earlier, but I also hope that they are not overly concerned about the girls based on the information my ped gives them.

I am of course worried, but I am relatively confident that anything really bad would have been picked up much earlier given all the tests Dylan had on her heart, spine (because of skin tag), etc. I still feel extremely lucky that the girls are as healthy as they seem to be, and I would do anything to keep them from having any health problems, ever.

Beach Bums

This is an indication of the weather we had the first few days in October. Then....

...the weather changed and it has been an absolutely gorgeous October. (More pics). The days are cloudless windless, and warm...making the area around the GGB crystal clear and amazing. The afternoons have been so beautiful that we are becoming regulars at the beach. The munchkins love it... especially all the dogs...Charlotte goes crazy watching the dogs on the beach. They also like all the other kids they get to see. And they are even starting to notice the birds. It is such a wonderful way to spend time with the girls that I don't even mind dealing with all of the sand that they manage to bring back with them (or eat).

I wish the weather were like this all the time because it really has been spectacular and I love being able to literally walk five blocks to take my daughters to the beach. Of course, if the weather were like this all the time there is absolutely no way we could even afford to rent an apartment in this city : )... so I guess I should welcome the fog (but I can't, because I love warm weather!)

Dylan and Charlotte: The Gangsta Years...

Don't they look like they are about to go rip off a pre-school? (btw, Dylan is holding their hands down, number one toy...they go CRAZY over it...) Andrew dressed them... we like to call it Dylan's "Johnny Cash" look.

I'll have what she's having....

Why we bother buying toys is beyond me... I'm learning the hierarchy of things that interest the munchkins and this is the basic order...

• Toys trump books.
• Sunglasses trump toys.
• Remote controls trump sunglasses.
• Cell phones trump remote controls.
• Your sister's feet trump cell phones.
• A blackberry might trump all of these if they could ever get their hands on it.
• And anything your sister is holding trumps anything you already have in your hand.
• And yes, sometimes I give them the cell phone or the remote to play with in desperation. Twins trump singletons and give their mothers an excuse for doing things they shouldn't...mothers of triplets probably let their kids play with knives...

My Hometown

People who don't live in the Bay Area often say to me "How can you live there, it is so ridiculously expensive?" or "It is never warm in San Francisco, it is always foggy." I agree on both accounts, and there is a decent chance that Andrew and I will move away from here eventually (because yes, it is absurdly expensive). But for right now there is nowhere else I would want to be. And here is why:

• It is beautiful. Life is too short not to live in a place that is beautiful. I get inspired every time I go for a run because I get to run out on the water by the bridge. On beautiful days it is breathtaking.
• Ten years ago I lived in Austin and spoke to my family about twice a month (Ok, granted, I was psycho at the time, but still). Last week I got to go to see the As in a playoff game (and yes, it was ugly) with my brother, while my mother watched my daughters. Some of my first memories are going to As games with my family, and I can't wait to take the girls to games.
• This week my aunt came to take the girls out for a walk and Chris came by and took them to the park. It is to so nice to have the break and the help, and so nice that the girls have so many people around to shower love on them.
• This past weekend was Fleet Week and the sky was filled with jets. We saw the Blue Angels perform on Saturday and Sunday in crystal clear skies. When I hear the jets (which were not that sweet during naptime) I can't help but play the Top Gun song in my head, and when I see them cross through the Golden Gate I want to yell "I see blue smoke!" And I want to tell people that real estate in San Francisco is expensive, but so much of what we love to do here is not.

The only downside is that it makes me realize how hard it must be for Andrew to be away from his hometown. To Andrew they say "Houston, it is so hot!" or "It is so ugly!" And Andrew just responds with "Yes, both are true, but it was a great place to grow up." I wish we could find a way to live in both of our hometowns somehow...

Is This As Good As It Gets?

I have already mentioned that I am often too concerned with the future. So in general, my answer to the above question has always been "No... better is yet to come!" There has always been the next big thing in life to look forward to...when you are in high school it is college, after college it is making it on your own...then there is getting married....etc. We also had a few years in there where so much happened it was crazy...business school, wedding, amazing trips...so no matter how much I was enjoying myself I had a feeling that even better stuff was yet to come.

Then I had two babies, and the thing is, no matter how great other parts have my life have been, I'm pretty sure that this is as good as it gets. Now don't get me wrong, there is a lot in my life that is NOT glamorous right now, but I mean fundamentally, THIS is the last "big thing" in my life. Which has me both happy and sad. Happy because I feel so lucky that I have made it this far in life to be able to experience motherhood, and because it is everything I thought it would be and probably more. Sad because I think it might be all downhill from here. I know people say "oh it only gets better." And I believe them, to a point. The next 10 years should be fantastic. But then what happens? I keep asking my mother what it is like to have grown up kids, and she keeps saying "oh, I have liked my children more at every age."

You know what? I call bullshit on that. That just isn't possible. I understand that they get cuter as they talk and whatever, but then they learn to TALK BACK. And just comparing me to my daughters... when my mother walks in the room, I don't smile, screech, and kick my feet. I don't laugh at my mother when she is singing silly songs or making goofy faces. My clothes aren't little and cute and I don't get all excited when I hear "Hickory Dickory Dock." I am often critical of my mother (she claims that at 2 years old I looked at her and said "mama I love you even though you have that big ugly mole on your face"---she got it removed the next week and I guess I've never stopped giving her my opinion since) and I certainly don't kick my legs when she walks in the room. So I'm pretty sure this is as good as it gets.

Now I should probably take another look at my life and realize that there are things I've given up or put on the back burner that someday I will really enjoy picking up again... a solid attempt at a good career, dressing up and going out on weekends, running marathons (let's just say "exercising"), blowing my hair dry more than once a month. These are things that I did like to do a lot and one point and so I'm sure I'll look forward to them again. But I don't know...maybe it is my fear that some of those things I couldn't get back even if/when I want them... ie. could I ever make up what I might be losing career-wise right now, will I ever be in that good of shape again, will I ever actually feel like a bad ass again when I'm all dressed up (and yes, occasionally I felt that way). I said to andrew the other night after going out w/ a bunch of single people "I'm having a hard time getting used to the fact that I'm not even remotely cool anymore." So maybe I worry that I either won't want or won't be able to get some of these other things back someday. Fair enough.

But maybe it is just that I see things like the picture above...little shoes on the floor, a short little jacket hanging on the doorknob, a stuffed animal in our bed, an elephant washcloth in the tub... and I know that I can't stop this prescious phase in my life from eventually passing (other than having a lot more kids, and while I'm working on Andrew on this one I'm not sure how many kids one can handle and live in the bay area). And it honestly makes me want to both shout for joy and cry at the same time. So call me corny, but I'm going to continue to lament that someday it will be over, because at least that way I can't be accused of not recognizing how good I had it when I had it. (And for the record, I think my mother likes me a lot more now that I've had Charlotte and Dylan... : ))

18 Hours Away

On Saturday night Andrew and I flew to LA for Jason and Julie's wedding celebration party--the first night I have been away from the girls since they escaped the NICU.

My mother used to say that she didn't worry when we flew as a family because then "no one would be left behind" if something happened. I remember thinking "god mom, that is sooo selfish" but now I totally get what she means. You of course want your children to be safe, but you also want to know that someone will be there to take care of them. Anyway, so I hated the flying part of it but it was nice to be away for a bit. Unfortunately I still woke up at 5am because I'm so used to it, but it was nice to have a little PT with Andrew.

I've been told that I was drunk...but I really only remember feeling drunk at the end (so let's just say I remember 'the end' as a rather short part of the night...whether or not this is true I choose not to find out). But I do remember that the party was great...it was great to see Julie (she looked beautiful) and Jason so happy, and it was fun to see the Texas crew. However, there is a reason I don't bring cameras to events that involve my trilogy friends...EVIDENCE.

Oh, and apparently the airlines don't let you bring breast milk as a carry on unless you have "a baby" as proof... how ridiculous is that??!! My heart goes out to mothers who travel for work... that sucks.