Jealous

Sometimes I'm jealous--jealous of people who have one child at a time. C and D took turns being sick and as a result Andrew and I spent the last two weekends "splitting them up." One of us stayed with the sick one and the other took the well one out for play or errands.

Dealing with one kid is like being on a different planet. It is unexplainable the difference. And your bonding with them is, quite honestly, entirely different.

Andrew came home from a morning of errands with Dylan and just looked at me and said "We went to Costco, Target, Babies R Us, AND got gas, and it was FUN." He was in shock. When I had my chance it was like the sky was the limit, because I could take one kid just about ANYWHERE without an issue. And one on one each girl is so much calmer, and you only have to deal with her idiosyncracies, as opposed to when they are together they feed off each other and make everything more than twice as complicated.

Sometimes I'm jealous that we didn't get to ease into parenting like most people do. Selfishly, it makes me a little sad that dealing with twins is so much more exhausting, because my kids deserve energetic parents, but they totally wear us out most days. But most of all, I'm jealous of the 1 on 1 time that other people get when they have kids one at a time. Even when they have two, different schedules and different levels of development usually means they get some solid one on one time with each kid. We hardly ever get that, and it makes me sad to think of the bonding that I'm missing.

And yes, I know I'm about to make it even MORE difficult to have one on one time with my kids. Call me stupid (I know I do).