Lost Evening

Today was a tough day. No real reason, just that I'm tired from being pregnant and Andrew's been gone most of the week and will be gone through the weekend. And C/D are starting to ignore me, defy me, wrestle with each other, and basically act like almost three year olds. So we had a bath and bedtime that involved me losing my patience and them going to sleep unhappy.

And then, after they went to bed, I was cleaning up and decided to clear out most of their Halloween bags. And as I was going through it I could see them as they so carefully picked out each piece of candy at each house, more interested in the selection process than the actual candy. I could see the happiness on their faces as they strolled around in their costumes, and the fear that started to appear as the 'bigger kids' (ie. 6 year olds) started to crowd them out. And I knew that it was a moment in time I'd never get back, because I'm sure that next year Halloween will be a completely difference experience for them. The candy will become a bigger deal, and each year having Mom and Dad around will become less important to them.

And I felt like such a crappy mom and I wanted to cry, because I realized that I'd just lost the evening with them. A night I wouldn't get back. Because they are growing up, and as tiring as they can be, they are at the most fabulous age. And I just wished I could remember that more before I got tired and frustrated and just wanted them in bed asleep.