So let me say first that I feel that I am at a stand still right now. We are still trying to teach the girls to soothe themselves to sleep, and Dylan has made zero progress at bedtime. She is still crying for almost an hour, and not a 'work it out' cry, but a 'why aren't you helping me cry.' It is literally paralyzing me and I feel like I can't get anything done until we fix this... I don't know why, it is just that it is so draining to hear her cry that after she cries at night I'm too drained to do anything, and all day it feels like I'm bracing myself for the next round. Add to the fact that I'm still up several times a night with them, and it is really exhausting. I would stop trying to get her to soothe herself, but she does it just fine during naps so we know she has the skill. Something about bedtime that is just not clicking for her. We are afraid if we stop it we'll have to go through it all over again later, and that is even crueler. But it really is so painful and it makes me feel like a lowsy mother. That and Andrew is now gone 4 of the next five nights so I have to listen to it all on my own. (Here is a pic of happy Dylan talking to the lion...this makes me feel better. You have no idea how often I find lion hair in the girls fingers. That pour sucker is getting torn apart).
Maybe that is why I am about to rant right now. About Target. Yes, I hate it. Target is like caffeine for me. Caffeine, and coffee in particular, makes me sick...headache, sick to my stomach, etc. Even decaf throws me for a loop. But every once in a while I crave it. So once in a while I think "well what if I just have a little bit of a decaf latte, or a diet coke from the can." About an hour later I feel awful and I'm reminded once again of why I don't drink these things.
That is what Target is like for me. Everyone always says how much they love Target, and I always agree. But I never go there....it is far away and I always seem to be able to get things elsewhere. So every once in awhile I think "well I really need to go to Target because it is so much better, easier, and cheaper." That and the online shipping costs are really high so I think it is worth going. So yesterday I take prescious nanny time to go. It takes me longer than I'd like to get there. I go in and the place is a zoo. They have almost nothing that they had online. There is no one there to help me. Most of the things I needed I can't get, and I get a few things I probably don't need because I keep saying "well I'm never coming back here." And at $18 an hour for a nanny, it would have been cheaper to go to the places I usually go. Not to mentiong the fact that I'm surrounded by all of these women with their strollers and something about the whole scene makes me feel like a REALLY desperate housewife. I left Target feeling the same way I do after drinking coffee: I had a raging headache (and was really mad at myself for forgetting that I actually hate Target!) I think I would have rather gone to Walmart...at least there you get a sense of Americana.
Now don't get me wrong, as a retailer I think Target is amazing. Their marketing, partnerships with high status names, etc., all of it rocks. And yes, some things there, like Amy Coe baby stuff, are great. But honestly, as a customer I don't think even Amy Coe is worth the hell that is Target. So I'll take the Container Store, H&M, Right Start, Babies R Us and Costco, and never may I set foot into a Target again.
Oh, and as a followup on the girls development, I spoke to a friend who has identical girls and she just had her 6 month (adjusted age) developmental check (we go in September 13th). The doctors told her that 1) sometimes to accomplish certain gross motor skills (i.e sitting), the babes need a certain amount of bulk 2) he said sitting was hard for preemies 3) some preemies walk before they crawl b/c their extensors are stronger than their flexors 4) preemies tip toe and that's normal and expected for preemies 5) sometime head control takes longer b/c their heads are relatively big. This has made me feel a lot better about the girls current state. That and the fact that Dylan flips herself over the minute you put her down these days. Chubu Charlie, on the other hand, is totally content to wait around until you pick her up. Such is the life of a princess.
Oh and I think we got good news about our apartment. I believe it has sold to someone who sees it as an investment opportunity and she won't be kicking us out. This would be great because our apartment is perfect for us right now, and personally I would like the next time we move to be moving out of the city. Also, Andrew has been torturing himself by looking at houses for sale on craigslist. It drives him nuts because I stand behind him and go "ewwww" about houses that we can't even afford. The other night we tortured ourselves even more by looking at Austin, Denver, San Diego, etc. So at least the torture can hopefully be postponed a few years.
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