LUCKY

This is how I feel most of the day, everyday. I am so lucky that Charlotte and Dylan are alive and healthy. I saw so many sad things in the NICU and feel that I have heard so many sad stories lately. I have heard so many "my twin died at birth" stories. I know that if I had had this pregnancy 50 years ago Dylan would not have survived. 80 years ago I probably would not have survived either. I often drive the way I went to the NICU, a drive I took @100 times when they were there. I would drive by Julius Kahn Park and wonder if I'd ever take the girls there. I'd wonder if people even knew I had children since there was no evidence of them in the car. It was winter and the park was mostly empty. Now I drive by with two babies in the car. The park is full and I want to burst with excitement. I know there are babies that stay in the NICU for 5 months, and I feel so lucky that c and d are smiling and laughing and growing everyday, at home, with me. I try to remember this on nights when I am putting them to bed myself and they are both screaming their heads off.

On a different note, I had my first Britney Spears experience today and it felt awful. I was changing Dylan, and usually I prop Charlotte in the glider so she can watch. For some reason I decided to put her on her tummy on the ottoman. I turned my back on her for literally 2 seconds and I hear a thug. She had, for the first time, flipped herself over...right onto the floor. Luckily there is a rug with a soft pad underneath. Even more lucky, she had flipped herself over in a Spiderman-like fashion and she landed stomach first. The fall seemed to scare her more than anything else--her cry was more "how could you let that happen" than "I'm hurt." I am currently holding her while she naps so I am typing this all w/ my right hand. Anyway, I feel terrible about it. Somehow I doubt it it is the last time that something like this will happen...

For more pics of the girls click here