About once a year the twins club here lists out the most ridiculous comments people w/ twins have heard in its newsletter. I decided I'd do a short list of my own:
--"Identical?" (I say "yes"). "A boy and a girl?"
While this comment gets old, at least I can enjoy the ridiculousness of it... : )
--"How do you tell them apart?"
This one doesn't bother me, it is just difficult to respond to... I mean the answer is "i'm their mother" or "they are two totally different people" but I know what they are really asking is "How would I tell them apart?" So I answer w/ things like "one is smaller" or "one has smaller eyes"--but it feels weird because I guarantee you that no mother of twins needs to think about how to tell her kids apart.
--"Do they have different personalities?"
Again, I understand what they are trying to ask, but has any mother ever responded with "No, their personalities are the same. They are like the same person."
--"A boy and a girl? How perfect!"
This comment might be the reason that I put c/d in pink all the time. It shouldn't bother me when people say this, but they always look so disappointed when I say "no, two girls" that I want to hurt them. I could go on and on about the whole boys vs. girls issue, and I'm sure I will, but in another post..... :-)
--"I like (insert C or D's name here) better."
I hear this from people at the park, and jokingly from distant friends and even relatives. I know people are sort of joking, but somehow w/ twins they think it is perfectly acceptable to joke about this, and in doing so they imply that a choice should be made. I'm so tempted to say back "well I like (insert one of their kid's names) better." Try telling someone w/ kids of different ages that you like one better, see the reaction you get. I don't think they will get the 'joke' either.
--"Identical?" (I say "yes"). "A boy and a girl?"
While this comment gets old, at least I can enjoy the ridiculousness of it... : )
--"How do you tell them apart?"
This one doesn't bother me, it is just difficult to respond to... I mean the answer is "i'm their mother" or "they are two totally different people" but I know what they are really asking is "How would I tell them apart?" So I answer w/ things like "one is smaller" or "one has smaller eyes"--but it feels weird because I guarantee you that no mother of twins needs to think about how to tell her kids apart.
--"Do they have different personalities?"
Again, I understand what they are trying to ask, but has any mother ever responded with "No, their personalities are the same. They are like the same person."
--"A boy and a girl? How perfect!"
This comment might be the reason that I put c/d in pink all the time. It shouldn't bother me when people say this, but they always look so disappointed when I say "no, two girls" that I want to hurt them. I could go on and on about the whole boys vs. girls issue, and I'm sure I will, but in another post..... :-)
--"I like (insert C or D's name here) better."
I hear this from people at the park, and jokingly from distant friends and even relatives. I know people are sort of joking, but somehow w/ twins they think it is perfectly acceptable to joke about this, and in doing so they imply that a choice should be made. I'm so tempted to say back "well I like (insert one of their kid's names) better." Try telling someone w/ kids of different ages that you like one better, see the reaction you get. I don't think they will get the 'joke' either.
And my absolute favorite:
--"Twins? You are getting it all done at once!"
I actually find this one offensive. The implication here is that two is the right number of children to have....and it might be, for THAT person. But it isn't for me. This one drives me so nuts that I try to respond in a way that points out to people how judgmental it is... (because I don't think most people who say it do so w/ ill will). Looking at it another way, we don't say to people w/ two kids "You should have another." (Can you tell I've heard this one a lot?!)
Sorry, every once in awhile I just have to vent, and Andrew is out of town so much I don't have anyone to vent to these days. :-)
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