Sensitive

I have been told that 3.5 is the height of pain in the assness with kids, so to speak. One of the manifestations for us has been more tantrums. Well not sure I'd call them tantrums (put it this way, I've seen way worse out and about). But we definitely seem to be running high on emotions these days.

Lately C has been getting upset more frequently. And in the middle of flying off the handle, she begs for a hug to 'calm her down.' Or two hugs, or three. I give her the hug, and in a few minutes she needs more hugs. And I am torn between giving her the love that she needs and reprimanding her for something that she did during her meltdown. And I have to admit that sometimes I have a really hard time with it. I don't do well with sensitive, I never have... I tend to see it as a sign of weakness. I remember having friends like that growing up, and I always wanted them to be tougher. I remember thinking that if I just exposed that sensitivity a little bit, they'd realize how unsightly it was and just toughen up. Only they didn't toughen up if I kinda "poked" a wound, in fact they got all sensitive about it (umm, understandably) Over the years I've tried to mitigate this personality trait as much as possible, but it still lurks.

So sometimes I find myself worrying that C is going to be one of those people, and worrying that it will drive me nutso. But then I spend more time with her and realize that in the scheme of kids she isn't all that sensitive (she is, after all, my kid). And her sensitivity is actually a lot like Andrew's sensitivity in that she is just being honest with you. She doesn't mess around. When you get mad at her, she's upset because you are mad at her, not because she's in trouble. She just wants a hug. When she gets all wound up she knows she just wants a hug to calm her down, and she has the wherewithall to ask for it. Unlike her mother, ms. i-will-not-show-weakness-even-if-i-never-get-myself-out-of-this-situation. So I need to applaud her self-awareness. And give her "three hugs," or "four hugs," or whatever it is she needs to calm down. Because someday I will wish, with all my heart, that 3 hugs from Mom is all she wants.